Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

—Jennifer Carilleri (Ali MacGraw) and Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O’Neal) in Love Story

I received an apology today from Andy Dunn, CEO of Bonobos, a men’s clothing site that I occasionally visit and from which I’ve purchased some mind-blowing shoes. He wrote to me to say he was sorry for the mishap with his site on Cyber Monday. Apparently, some customers had a bad experience. 

Here’s Andy’s letter to me (click on the thumbnail to read a PDF of the letter):

I didn’t celebrate CM in the traditional ways this year. Instead, I went to work and actually worked. Nonetheless, his kind letter made me think back to the letter I received last September 20 from Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix/Qwikster:

Here are five things that make me like Andy much more than I care for Reed.  In fact, I don’t care for Reed very much.

1. Andy took quick action. Although his apology was delayed by 10 days, Reed’s was delayed by about two months. Andy’s timing was much better.
2. Andy didn’t try to make me think we were friends. He didn’t start with “Dear Rick” because he hadn’t earned that right. He knew I knew we had never met. Reed tried to buddy up. Didn’t work.
3. Andy wasn’t defensive. He didn’t try to explain what happened or what his intentions were. He apologized for the problem. Reed got all noble about intentions that didn’t sound all that noble. By the time he apologized at the end I was just angrier with him. And he said he wanted to “apologize again” when he hadn’t yet apologized. 
4. Andy admitted he wasn’t out of the woods, but he and his team were working on it. His transparency made me trust that he’d get on that fix right away. Reed told me nothing except that I’d get charged more anyway.
5. Andy kept to the point, said what he needed to and ended the note. Reed worked too hard and wrote too much—especially without saying much.

Thanks for teaching me some good lessons, Andy. I like you more now than I did yesterday. And we haven’t even met…yet. Oh, and I cancelled Netflix. 

-Rick Bailey is the principal and founder of Richard Harrison Bailey/The Agency and author of Coherence: How Telling the Truth Will Advance Your Cause (and Save the World). Follow him on Twitter @RichardHBailey.